What's my sign? Ugh...

[Here is an old post from September 15, 2011. It's one I remember having a lot of fun writing. I've refined my format a bit since this blog began which is cool to see. I've tried to clean it up a bit but the edit interface only allows so much editing for old posts.]

I don't put any value in astrological signs. I'm also not superstitious and I think it's for the same reason. My birthday. I am a cancer and I was born on the thirteenth.

Interesting symbol but I still can't embrace Cancerism

What came first the disease or the sign? I discovered that the disease was named for the crustacean, crab, because veins radiating out from tumors looked like crabs to the man who named the illness. [see below] Considering how subjective that point of view has to be, I want to go on record as saying there were any number of tentacled creatures, or arachnids, who could have shouldered the job of sharing a name with a horrid disease. Especially because there were no current star systems and future signs of the Zodiac named Cuttlefish, so it was available and not already doing double duty like the Crab.

Western Astrology is considered to have had its start around the 2nd century AD

According to the American Cancer Society our oldest description of cancer (although the word cancer was not used) was discovered in Egypt and dates back to about 3000 BC

The word "cancer" was used by Hippocrates around 460-370 BC.

Hippocrates used the terms carcinos and carcinoma to describe non-ulcer forming and ulcer-forming tumors. In Greek these words refer to a crab, most likely applied to the disease because the finger-like spreading projections from a cancer called to mind the shape of a crab. You can read more about the History of Cancer at the ACS website

So, this is a case of the star grouping Cancer, being named for the crab although the stars were there first. Then you have the disease which has been around long enough for fossilized cancerous bones to have been unearthed, but not named cancer. Western astrology came around after that and named my sign after the stars and then Hippocrates named the disease after the crustacean. Hippocrates was born in 460 BC and I can guarantee you he was not a Cancer.

This is a cancer cell:
I see no resemblance to a crab

This is a spider:

I see a resemblance here
This is a crab:

I ask you, where is the similarity?

Yes, I'm comparing cancer on a cellular level, a view which Hippocrates had no knowledge. ok. OK! Settle down now. What about this then?

What about this, I ask you!

Sunflower Starfish

Then there's the whole list of traits associated with those born under Cancer the sign...see right there? I had to qualify cancer. You don't have to qualify Scorpio, you know what I'm saying?

Emotional and loving
Intuitive and imaginative
Shrewd and cautious
Protective and sympathetic

And bad:
Changeable and moody
Overemotional and touchy
Clinging and unable to let go

Anybody who knows me would laugh at this list as it applies to me. All the good points, spot on, well except for maybe emotional. All the bad? Hah! Clinging and unable to let go? Seriously I'm the opposite. Touchy? No. Moody? No. I'm about as capricious as a rock in the mood department. Steady as she goes...I'm female but I've been compared to a typical guy in the relationship department. I even hate shopping. Hate it. Well, except for groceries which I love.

Anyway I'm not into being a Cancer. If you've lost someone you love to cancer, and I know you have, it's really hard to separate the disease from the sign. I'm just suggesting we shouldn't have to. I'd be happy to embrace Stella as a sign.

You: What's your sign?
Me: I'm a Stella
You: Oh?
Me: Yes, I'm shrewd and cautious but clingy and unable to let go!
You: How about those Jays?! [starts texting frantically]

As for the number thirteen? Let's just say I've seen enough birthdays to know there's NO truth to the bad luck thing. Can an atheist be superstitious? I think that would be impossible. In order to be tempting bad luck by walking under ladders or staying on the thirteenth floor, something sentient has to be keeping track.

Mitch Hedberg on thirteen:
I’m staying at a hotel right now, there’s no 13th floor because of superstition. But come on man, the people on the 14th floor, you know what floor you’re really on. If you jump out of the 14th floor hoping to kill yourself, you will die earlier.

13 is an unlucky number. If 13’s unlucky, then so should the letter B be, cuz B looks like a scrunched-together 13. ‘Hello, what is your name?’ ‘Bob.’ ‘Get the hell away!’
The insidiously unlucky letter 'B'


A-Gran said...

That was the most awesome post so far.

Noelle said...

I agree pretty awesome.

dirtydisher said...

Try being a Scorpio. All we want to do is fuck you, turn you into a zomibie and go back to our lord and master, Satan.

Frimmy said...


Tonya said...

This made me laugh all over again.


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