The Mary River turtle, Is an endangered short-necked turtle that lives in the Mary River in South-East Queensland, Australia. It is endangered. In the 1960s and 1970s, they were popular as pets in Australia and like all inappropriate pets they probably got released into the wild when they became tiresome. Speaking of tiresome, the wikipedia article for this reptile was a little frustrating but here are some highlights.
First, what the hell is a cloaca and second who the hell uses the word "whilst"?
Cloaca: 1) A cavity in the pelvic region of most vertebrates except higher mammals and certain invertebrates into which the alimentary canal and the genital and urinary tracts open.
Cloaca: 2) A sewer
So apparently it breathes with the aid of an exit chute on its extremely huge tail. A Mary River turtle's tail can measure almost two-thirds of the carapace (shell, dammit wiki!) length. However, they do regularly come to the surface to breathe air in the usual way.
A full grown specimen was first seen in 1987 and was described formally by scientists only in 1994 and little is known about it. Probably because it's been blending in with the algae all this time.
Is that turtle? No, it's just a paddling patch of algae.
(Not pictured: a really huge tail)
The Mary River in Queensland exists entirely on private land and is therefore not protected completely. The main threats to this species in the wild are based in habitat degradation, and include problems such as a deterioration of water quality through riverside vegetation being cleared, water pollution through siltation, agricultural chemical contamination and water flow disruptions.
The Mary River Turtle has every reason to be emo.