Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Jacuzzi Tubs - Relaxing in Filth


I have a tub like this. I hate it. I'm not a hot tub fan. There are two reasons. This home was owned by other people before me and they used this tub. I don't know what non-Frimmy organisms exist behind the tub walls and no matter what methods I use to exterminate unknown microbes I can't ever be sure they're gone. So I NEVER use the jets.

Public hot tubs gross me out even more. Seriously...it may as well be called churning Human Soup Tub. I won't even get into a private hot tub unless I know the people are obsessive compulsive cleaners who live like nuns. Who am I kidding. I have never gotten into their hot tubs either.

I know there's hideous microscopic monster microbes behind my tub walls because every couple days I have to clean crap from around the chrome jets or else my tub will look like I dug it up in a post apocalyptic dungeon. Like so:

My tub doesn't look like this but it may as well because I know those filthy suckers are nearby.



I know what people do in hot tubs. Why is this water orange? This wouldn't be a bad tub to get into if the water was drained, the tub was scrubbed and sterilized and refilled with clean water and only those named John Cusack got back in. He could even wear the robe (?) but only if he laundered it first. The booze can stay.

10 comments:

Aggie said...

I bought a jetted tub years ago after they came out. "What a great idea!" said I. "I will relax and it will be wonderful." Instead I got poked by hard jet streams in all my delicate parts. And all of my parts are delicate because I'm a fucking lady.

I showered from then on out. I don't care much for hot tubs either. They're too damn hot and pokey. I hadn't even thought of the germs so thanks for that new phobia...

Anonymous said...

I bought a house with one of these tubs too Frimmy, and have the exact same sentiment. You can scrub the piss out of them with bleach, comet and a toothbrush - fire them up and crap is STILL gonna come out of the jets. I have not used it once since we moved in 4 years ago. I want to tear it out and build a huge gorgeous room for more than one walk in shower. All my "tub soaker with candles" girlfriends think I am nuts .... bah..I'd rather feel clean after bathing thank you very much.

Ann

Angie said...

I'm in the same boat. Bought the house with an 80 gallon hot tub in the bathroom. First off, who needs 80 gallons of water to take a bath? I can't even fill it all the way before the hot water runs out. Secondly, I SAW the people that lived here. No way am I going to sit in the remnants of their dead skin. I replaced the toilet seats before I would even use them, for goodness sake and that was just for the safety of my butt.

Frimmy said...

Thank god I'm not the only person who feels this way. I can't tell you how many times I've said no to hot tub parties and get shocked, confused looks when I tell them why. I want to tear this tub out and put in something without holes in the tub walls where stuff and probably huge spiders can hide. *shudders*

Angie said...

I've said the same thing. I want to build a really nice shower, tile and glass and a great shower head. I have a regular size tub upstairs that I can use for soaking. No jets and after being scrubbed with an abrasive cleaner with bleach, I feel safe using it.

Frimmy said...

Sometimes I get chilled and can't warm up. When that happens only a bath in hot water helps. If I need to soak, I carefully scrub my tub and allow water to fill up to just below the jets. Then I soak huddling in the tub so no water sloshes around. I'm out of there the second the chill is gone.

A soaker with no jets sounds like heaven. I've also imagined a walk in shower made with glass block and concrete.

Anonymous said...

LOL Angie - the first thing I do every time I move is replace the toilet seat! I am so glad to know I am not alone.....

Ann

Angie said...

There is no cleaner that can get that seat clean enough, is there?

Aggie said...

If you all like the jets why not fill the tub with hot water and bleach to kill all the germs?

Frimmy said...

Tried it several times. Didn't work for me. I don't like the jets enough to troubleshoot the issues.