Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Jacuzzi Tubs - Relaxing in Filth
I have a tub like this. I hate it. I'm not a hot tub fan. There are two reasons. This home was owned by other people before me and they used this tub. I don't know what non-Frimmy organisms exist behind the tub walls and no matter what methods I use to exterminate unknown microbes I can't ever be sure they're gone. So I NEVER use the jets.
Public hot tubs gross me out even more. Seriously...it may as well be called churning Human Soup Tub. I won't even get into a private hot tub unless I know the people are obsessive compulsive cleaners who live like nuns. Who am I kidding. I have never gotten into their hot tubs either.
I know there's hideous microscopic monster microbes behind my tub walls because every couple days I have to clean crap from around the chrome jets or else my tub will look like I dug it up in a post apocalyptic dungeon. Like so:
I know what people do in hot tubs. Why is this water orange? This wouldn't be a bad tub to get into if the water was drained, the tub was scrubbed and sterilized and refilled with clean water and only those named John Cusack got back in. He could even wear the robe (?) but only if he laundered it first. The booze can stay.