Do You Roll Coins? - Public Service Announcement

This is the coin roller reboot.  Something happened, yada yada, whole body of the post disappeared.  For some time I've been considering my own domain and this kind of decided me.  Until I get that up and running I'll stay here.

I'd like to tell you that I'm about to retype the whole thing verbatim but the muse has not the inspiration to serve me twice on this subject.  I'll try my best on my own power.

If you roll your own coins this is a good thing.  Banks love that.  However do you use these to roll your coins?:

If you do, please stop. Stop now. I hate them, the banks hate them. There are many reasons these must be outlawed.

Yes they're easy. You don't even have to count your coins because only the exact right amount of coins will fit.

They're see through. If you've ever opened a roll of dimes and found they were actually pennies - except for one dime on each end as a disguise - you can appreciate the transparent nature of the rollers and the resulting prevention of scams.


They are made of semi-rigid plastic. Somewhere between plastic wrap and acrylic sheets. The seams at the top and bottom of the roll are sharp and pokey. When they're full of coins, and coins are heavy, they feel like they're puncturing my hands.

The tabs alone do not hold the rollers closed. This is because most people do not read the instructions and leave out the last critical step. Once you close the tabs you're supposed to bang the tab side of the roll on a hard surface to lock them. Nobody does this. So these rollers open up inside the safe, inside the till, while you're transferring them from the safe to the tills, and at virtually any point in between. 

Also, the ends open up and the coins empty out of the roll from either end or sometimes both. 

Try picking up coins off a floor without magnets or fingernails.

Some people tape them shut.  Unnecessary if you follow instructions.

I have occasion to be dealing in huge amounts of coins on a regular basis. Do you know what the banks do when they have an abundance of coins wrapped in evil AND a client who orders an abundance of coins?  They give them to me. The last time I was picking up a coin order, the teller brought the bundles to me and I saw they were ALL wrapped in these plastic crap rollers. I whimpered. You're thinking probably I cringed inwardly and using the word "whimper" was figurative. No. I actually whimpered. 

The teller said; "I know honey, when I saw it was you coming to get the coin I thought it was just wrong that you got these."

Wrong. She called me honey but don't even think that came anywhere close to making up for it.

Fits US coins too!

I get most coins in bundles of ten rolls.  Because of the tabs, these rolls do not slide out of the bundle smoothly and effortlessly like their paper counterparts. The tabs catch on other the tabs of other rolls in the bundle and also the elastic that binds them. The tabs also 'grab' other rollers and cause rolls you don't want to come out of the bundle. Then the remaining rolls spaz and kink out of place, losing the rubber band and in the process usually spilling their coins wherever I had the misfortune of working.

It doesn't matter where I stand in the room, their tabs follow me
Notice above right: quarters in Machiavellian rollers.
I wasn't kidding when I said the entire coin order was done up with these.

In the other post I mentioned that I took each plastic roll and brutalized the tabs to lock them, even the taped ones, just on principle.

Today I felt differently. Today I re-rolled every one of them into the paper rollers that we use. Also, remember I banged the hell out of the tabs to lock them?  Today I had a hell of a time getting the tabs to release.  If people would just follow the last step THAT would improve things so much.

In the other post I made the claim that these rollers are made with snowy owls, baby seals, actual real spring water and foie gras. I said you'd be doing the environment a favour by never using them again. That was...what?  Hyperbole? Save the universe, and never use these again. There. That was hyperbole. Me, the bank, Greenpeace, snowy owls, baby seals, real actual spring water and ducks will thank you.


A-Gran said...

I was just at Heidi's blog reading about how she cashed in her change today. Did the 2 of you collaborate?

Frimmy said...

Total fluke!!

Anonymous said...

I prefer the paper ones anyway! Look at me saving the baby seals!


Frimmy said...

Bless you, fair Ann

Unknown said...

The fact that this transparent coin wrapper is quite complicated to use might make other people prefer the paper coin wrapper still. It’s easier to use. Aside from that, paper is recyclable, so you’re helping in saving the environment. #Harriett Faulks

Unknown said...

I'm new to this blog.
Last week, I tried to get rid of some rolled pennies in cardboard wrappers and the bank said that they only accept plastic. But I can't find plastic!
Any help?
Thank you!

Frimmy said...

Since I wrote this, I started working for a bank. The clear rollers prevent people from rolling pennies up and disguising them as dimes. At my bank we will give customers the paper tube rollers if they need them. I keep them in stock for my staff mainly, but I don't mind handing some out free. If you can't get any from your bank and you can't find the ones they want you to use, your alternative might be buying online or using one of those coin sorting machines at some banks, but I know they charge for that.


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