Courtney Stodden - A Collection of Tweets

When I first arrived on this planet and began this blog, I swore I would not succumb to this but I have. It's just too darn easy. I happened across a couple of sites that listed the "worst Courtney Stodden tweets".  

When I read the first one I thought it was a joke, that they were attributing these horrors to Stodden but no! she actually wrote these. These were intentional. Perhaps this is old news for the two of you you readers but I have avoided this woman and her snake slave bracelet as much as possible until now.

She enjoys alliteration and manages to assemble adjectives into the most  nonsensical combinations. Why? To convey a barely disguised attempt at what? Erotica? Seduction? I laugh. She is incapable of relating any other way so it must be some sort of seduction. A skank's idea of a thirteen year old boy's idea of seduction? Quelle nuanced! Quelle sophisticated!  I know that I can't relate on any level and that proves I am not from this planet and this is the reason I am unfamiliar with her ways. But you, dear earthling readers, please enjoy!

Experiencing such a wet ‘n wild afternoon by turning on a water hose and squirting it all over my heated flesh! Mmm feeling rejuvenated! XOs
Returned from a late night walk through these angelic alleys of the Hollywood hills w/ my love. I taste God’s beauty with great gratitude…

God's beauty, yo

Throwin on a white string bikini, fluffy light up bunny ears, 7in heels, & a rhinestone bow tie while bakin cookies. Don’t Put It On Me Girl 
Back in from a hot hike up the back inclines of LA. Boy, conquering THAT in 7 in. stilettos makes for an AMAZING workout! Feeling energized!
"Had a bodily breakfast in bed this morning; It was so tasteful…
Just like sweet syrupy pancakes completed with a lush creamy filling. Yum!"

Woke up to a perfect morning; Romantic melodies softly playing, my favorite breakfast all prepared, & my pups licking me up & down… Mmm!
The sultry scent of my pink, sugary, cotton candy bod is purely provocative and pleasing. So glad that it satisfied everyone tonight...;-) XO's

Tasteful cotton candy bod!

Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy! ;-)
Hovering over the scintilating city of Los Angeles on my beautiful balcony while wearing a white lace blouse and luxurious lace stockings!

Casteth out these poppin' good, palatable puppies!

Gratifying our glorious Lord for all of the beauty that He continuously blesses each and every one of us with. Thank you, Jesus! XO’s ;-x
Saturated within a superb Sunday as God's love beams brightly!  "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear..." John 4:18

I, like, thirst?

Had such a Thirsty-Thursday; I just might have Doug moisten my mouth tonight with his delectable drink? Mmm… Now that’s tempting… ;-)
Stepped my paws into a sexy wet cat-suit; Prowling mysteriously around the house while lickin’ my lips searchin’ for some nip! MEEEOWWW! ;-)

Ok...I don't want my eyes anymore. There's more but I can't take it. Here take this:

WTF is this?


I promise, no more Stodden.  Unless she tops herself and I discover it three years later and post it here.


Tonya said...

I adored that. I raucously raked my long, limber fingers down my lengthy leg whilst reading raptuously.

Heidi said...


That made me heave a little bit. Stodden needs to go away or get knocked up and have miles and miles of stretch marks all over her tasty (gag!) bod.

Angie said...

Tasty body? That's the best she can do? That's the worst porn ever.

And she's going to have Doug moisten her mouth?? I think I just puked in MY mouth.

Anonymous said...

Have we figured out what is wrong with her mouth yet?


Frimmy said...

Ann!!!! I've missed you!

Best guess I think her mouth problem is it's Courtney Stodden's idea of a thirteen year old boy's idea of a porn mouth. Or I use this formula:

Stodden's brain + Stodden's advisors' brains
+ Doug Hutchenson's brain = half a brain.

But I only say that because I'm a jealuz hatr.

Tonya said...

I would be so embarrassed if this was my daughter. I'm not even joking.

Frimmy said...

That's why I've avoided posts about her. If anyone really loved this kid they would not be allowing her to make a public spectacle of her immaturity. If she or anyone around her actually loved Jesus they wouldn't be pimping her out and allowing her to post vapid tweets, barely disguised as pornographic innuendo which only end up being farcical at best.

It's about more than loving your kid also. It's our job to protect our kids in spite of what they think is good or right for themselves. We're supposed to know better and know what's best for them. Really secure parents will even allow their children the freedom to choose paths they wouldn't necessarily choose themselves but they still keep them safe and would not allow them to fail so publicly as Stodden's parents have.

Her advisers/spouse are hideous. They're greedy, stupid, shallow and do not love their daughter/wife and more than anything else, seeing her inspires cringing and sadness in me. Almost to the point of pain.


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