Fast Food - Read My Mind, You Idiot

Woman: I'll have an extra large black, double cupped, and two extra large in a small cup with cream on the side.

[Let's not even deal with the physics of two extra large coffees in a small cup, clearly that isn't what she means. Let's just figure out basics like how many actual coffees does this woman want in sizes that do not require quantum mechanical formulas or a rift in the space time continuum, and then figure out what she was trying to say]

Me: want three extra large coffees with cream on the side?

I say this knowing this isn't what she wants. It's an invitation to be more specific so I can figure out what she's saying. But does she take it that way? No. She thinks I am an idiot. Which is pretty funny from someone who just ordered two 24 oz coffees stuffed into a 10 oz cup.

She rolls her eyes and stares at the ceiling in frustration at my stupidity. Takes a deep cleansing breath. I resist the urge to bust out laughing. Then...

Woman: Nooooo..... I want an

[she says it slowly, so I can keep up with her]

Me: Yes! Double cupped I have that already, I'm confused about the other part of your order.

She rolls her eyes again. 

Me: urge to laugh: barely supressed

Woman: Extra large black, double cupped with two extra large in a small cup with cream on the side.

Me: [pausing briefly] ...I'm sorry I have no idea what you're trying to say here.

Woman: They [meaning the counter staff she usually deals with, I assume] let me get two extra large creams in a small cup for my coffee!

Me: Oh! You want two extra large shots of cream in small cup?

Woman: Uh...yes?

Me: No problem, anything else?

We complete the transaction. I would have had no issues with this entire conversation had she not assumed the attitude that I am incompetent. Or was she expecting me to not allow it and so the eye rolling and deep breathing was in expectation of rejection? 

A lot of people arrive at my till with a million things on their mind and don't even realize what they've actually ordered. I'm the expert, it's my job to interpret and get the result the guest is looking for. So when someone orders a large, black coffee, regular (one cream and one sugar), it's my job not to judge. It's my job to make sure I get their coffee right and so I ask questions to clarify with that purpose in mind. 

Me: "Did you know 'regular' is coffee slang for one cream and one sugar? I'm just asking because if we do a regular modification, it won't be black anymore."

I'm serious when I ask this. As serious as a fricken cup of coffee at 6 a.m. Don't give me attitude about it. I'm just trying to help. Really.

So own it if you are half asleep while ordering, we get that all the time. Drinking a perfect coffee is the important thing. How you get it the way you want it is up to us. Tell us what we need to know to do that for you, without acting like we drooled, quacked like like a duck and told you we liked tater tots - and we'll all be happy.


Tonya said...

Seriously, how do you tolerate this shit? I honestly don't know that I could do it again.

Frimmy said...

I'm going to do some posts about the really awesome guests we get. They are the ones who balance out the bad ones.

Also, with people like this guest I wrote about, I try to think that maybe their outward reaction masks an inward fear or frustration with their entire life. It's not me they're responding to, but the entire sum of their sad little life where someone misunderstanding them makes life almost not worth living. They have bigger issues, obviously, and as long as they're not wielding an automatic weapon and taking me and/or my staff out I can tolerate it most days.

Frimmy said...

So far!


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