Thursday, January 24, 2013

Foods I'm tired of hearing about

Chocolate (except for white chocolate which doesn't count)

A perfectly good strawberry ruined.

I've said it before. I won't bore you. If you know me, you won't bring the chocolate, unless it's all for you and you brought me nuts. But not hazelnuts. Ferrero Rocher. All yours.

Quinoa (pronounced KEEN wah)

It looks like birdseed and it tastes like birdseed

Quinoa is a species of goosefoot, is a grain-like crop grown primarily for its edible seeds. It is a pseudocereal (<-----pseudocereal!!!) rather than a true cereal, or grain, as it is not a member of the true grass family. As a chenopod, quinoa is closely related to species such as beets, spinach and tumbleweeds.

Sunflowers have edible seeds. Quinoa is a pseudoedible food. (I was recently asked "How can you be tired of hearing about whatever you said just now when I've never heard of it before??)

Brown Butter anything

Yeah...tastes the same to me

Also known as Beurre noisette which literally means hazelnut butter (<---well there's the problem), brown butter is used frequently in French pastry production and everywhere else as the ingredient du jour. A French term which here means "fad". 

I can't taste the difference between the above blackened, burned butter and the perfect brown butter. If butter has turned brown, something is desperately wrong. I would love for someone who knows what they're doing to help me out with this.

Gluten Free



Gluten-free, fat free, sugar free anything. Unless you're dealing with Celiac or unless your health requires it, and I know several people who cannot eat gluten, why do you need to remove gluten from your diet. I'm starting to think this is the diet-choice version of Chronic Fatique Syndrome and Fibromyalgia in that two percent of the population have these disorders and 25% of the people I know say they have it. The fakers make it bad for the people who actually do suffer.

The only thing good about this fad is that it has made a huge variety of food available for the people who are actually required to eat gluten free.

Goat Cheese



I love cheeses, don't get me wrong. But goat cheese, goat cheese, goat cheese! Herb it up, dress it up, combine it with apricots and chili peppers or a blond wig and I'll still be able to pick out the bits that taste like what goats smell like. Seriously, what is the deal with this stuff??

Sweet Potatoes




I really want to love sweet potatoes. I've tried them so many ways and even french fried with various mayo dips. All they taste like to me is carrots + squash. And not the good kind of squash either. 

Watermelon anything (except watermelon)

What, do you think you just add chocolate to anything??

Chocolate watermelon pops. Is this a new kind of torture? Salted watermelon, watermelon jolly ranchers, watermelon Twizzlers and sorbet - all yuck. Cake that looks like watermelon - yuk.

Red Wine Concoctions




Red wine sauces, glazes and reductions. The only place I want red wine is in a wine goblet with lots of breathing space. Keep your fancy red wine gourmet drizzles away from my food.

Nutella or hazelnut anything




You're going to say, well, there's chocolate in it. That's only part of the problem. Hazelnuts are from the devil. Foodgawker is such a lovely website but do you know how many recipes are eliminated when you factor in the above mentioned dislikes? There doesn't seem to be much imagination beyond these ingredients.

Here are some interesting flavour combinations that I would try and that sound really delicious to me.

North Americans seem to be the only ones who see avocado as a savoury flavour only.

Oh my...sounds delish. Wait...is that GOAT CHEESE on the bread??







This would be good as long as the scallops were left mostly intact.

There's an Asian dish made with shrimp, walnuts and honey. It's killer.



This looks amazing

6 comments:

Angie said...

I found myself nodding my head after each one of your entries. Nutella? Quinoa? Who gives a shit?? Just because you've decided to eat the food of the month does not make you a foodie. It might make you a hipster and it CERTAINLY makes you an empty headed poser.

(I must admit...I found your suggestions for combinations horrifying as well...lol)

Meissa TwentyOneTwelve said...

Hating on sweet potato fries and nutella? That settles it. You are a certified weirdo ;)

In my country they make avocado smoothies, ice cream, etc. I grew up in a family who love avocado sprinkled with sugar. I hate sweetened avocado. I think sugar does not belong with it, only lime and salt.

I've had strawberries and/or mango with balsamic vinegar and fresh ground pepper. That shit is killer. but like you, I do not get chocolate covered anything other than truffles. Except for chocolate covered malt balls.

Speaking of truffles, a local chocolatier (he actually lives a mile from here) makes this amazing goat cheese orange peel chocolate covered truffle. It's all sorts of amazing but I wouldn't recommend it unless you absolutely like goat cheese and chocolate.

Hazelnuts are awesome!


Melvin Ayatollahofrock'nrolla said...

Nutella is the perfect way to spruce up three-day-old coffee. Burger King slipped me a couple sweet potato curly fries with my onion ring order awhile back and I did not go for them. Their onion rings also suck but they're onion rings.

Anonymous said...

You can hate on the rest, but do not hate on my goat cheese. I could eat that stuff all day long. Goat cheese is MILD - I don't understand how you think you smell goat.

That said I'd love a pet goat. Stupid city bylaws.

Ann

Frimmy said...

I like all other mild soft cheeses... I don't know why I taste goat odour but I do. I've been to zoos and petting zoos and I know what goats smell like. That's what the cheese tastes like to me. And it's not a mild sort of dislike. It's a barely stop myself from gagging, kind of thing. I can stomach swallowing something I don't actually like on the first bite. But goat cheese I have to actually spit out. You know, while hiding behind a napkin so I don't disrespect all the work my sister went to to make a table full of amazing appetizers one family dinner night a year ago. It was 99% killer foodgasmic, except for the apricot, chili pepper and coat cheese thingys.

I'd trade a standard or sweet potato french fry for any kind of onion ring any day. Haven't tried BK's yet. We just had our first one open up last week.

Noelle said...

Love this post, comments enhanced my experience.