So It Turns Out I Have Pneumonia

Is that supposed to be blood on the date book? What kind of message is that?
I like the "buy handcuffs" note. Ball gag, not so much.
That explains the chest pain when I cough and also explains the non-stop coughing. Usually when I say "So, am I good to work?" She says "If you want some time off I can recommend it, how many days do you want?" And I say, "None." and she says "it's up to you". Today when I asked if I was good to work she said "NO!! You need rest. At least three or four days."

So here I am. Not working and feeling guilty.

I hate missing time. I hate it even more because even though we are not allowed a specific amount of sick days, I'm still paid for the days I miss. Usually I gauge how sick I am by asking myself if I would feel guilty accepting pay for the day I miss and if the answer is "Yes" (and it always is) I go in. It's been difficult the last while because we have been fully staffed. Believe me I hate to sound like I'm complaining about being fully staffed, I'm not really, but we have so many staff that I am not needed. So I'm left looking for something to do and unable to ignore how I'm feeling. When I'm not feeling well and we're understaffed I can immerse myself in work and forget about it all. 

I'm feeling guilty for not working and feeling guilty for not posting more and feeling guilty for not following the blogs I usually visit on a daily basis. At least you know why now. I'm sure you'll sleep better.


Angie said...

Pneumonia is nothing to mess around with. I understand the guilt of being off (not that I suffer from such a handicap, myself), but you must trust that you would be of little use feeling as ill as you do. Not to mention prolonging your illness. Of course, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but maybe hearing others tell you what you already know, will soothe your angst.

Frimmy said...

Not wanting to prolong this is what try to remember. Also I work in the food industry. It freaks people out when I'm taking their order and coughing up a lung even if I AM covering my mouth.


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