Cork Dork Chart of Pretentious Descriptive Words


I love wine. I like it because well, I just like it. Red wine is my preference. Australian Shiraz specifically. Not because I know what the hell that means but because when I've had it we liked each other just fine.

What does this wine smell like? Wine. What does it taste like? Wine. As opposed to scotch, let's say. I'm not interested beyond that. Does it need to be analyzed?

Apparently yes. So, for those of you who are interested in assigning knowledgeable sounding descriptive words to your wine experience check this out:




I'm sitting here with my bottle of Wolf Blass Yellow Label Cabernet Sauvignon. The cap is off. I'm sniffing it and looking at the chart. It looks red and it feels liquidy. It smells fermenty like...wine. ...and I'm outa here.

2 comments:

Noelle said...

OMG the tasting notes such a pile of bullshit.

How is the mouth feel?
Bouquet good?
How are the legs?
Full bodied?


I recently read this tasting notes: "exotic with layers of peach and apricot nectar, green melon and pear, overlaid with subtle notes of citrus zest and spicy Vanilla. A rich round mouth feel....blah blah blah. Give me a fucking break. CRAZY. btw this is a description for a domestic white blend. YUM??

Frimmy said...

Exactly. I can't believe someone gets paid to some up with this BS.

Domestic white blend is domestic, white and blendy. That is all. Get your head out of the clouds.

 

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