Friday, June 7, 2013

Look at this map...!!!


This is from BuzzFeed's "Do you live in a cat state or dog state" article but that's not what I want you to notice because the map is too small to really see. Do you see what I'm talking about?

Maybe this will help:

CANADA!! Canada is on this map!! And Mexico, but CANADA!!

Sure, we didn't make it into the cat vs dog argument but we haven't been blacked off the map either! Naturally, all of Canada is a cat state. In case you were wondering. Except Alberta. Alberta is all dog. Big dogs. Living in the middle of cities. Big dogs and big ole trucks. Oh, and small dogs and big ole trucks. Usually more than one. (both trucks and dogs)

"Frimmy, what's your problem?", you're saying. Oh, just that this is what I usually see:

It's pop, people. Geez.

Where is Canada on this map? Dialect Survey Results took it out to make room for the question asking "What is your generic term for a sweetened carbonated beverage?". Yes I know they only surveyed Americans, but why deny the existence of Canada? And it's not just Dialect Survey Results, it's pretty much every map of the US that I see. It subliminally teaches people/children that nothing exists outside the USA, doesn't it? Have you asked an American kid not living on the border where Canada is lately? This is why Rick Mercer has so much fun with you people.

Crap...all his videos do is show how nice Americans are, all happy for us celebrating random non-existent events, happy to let us drill into Mt. Rushmore for plutonium as long as it doesn't damage the national monument. I watch Mercer's videos and I do the Community "Aww" thing because you're so nice in spite of Mercer's shit-eating grin and trick questions to make you look stupid. We don't fare much better at man-in-the-street pop quizzes either, but I'm sure the people interviewed were probably tourists. Visiting from the US.

See, we Canadians don't have a very high opinion of ourselves. I know. Weird. Maps without Canada on them kinda feed that feeling of unworthiness, I think, and yet we're kind of a great country in some ways. Sure we have faults and foibles like any other country. We have politicians but every country is afflicted with politicians, what can  you do? Don't make me break out the scenic vista images!

Here's how a 2007 survey revealed how the world views Canada. The videos are less than two minutes each.










So, I don't care if you leave us off your map, but can you try to remember we're up there? Sharing your weather patterns and satellite TV channels (but keeping poutine, butter tarts and Nanaimo squares to ourselves).

They tell me there are other countries in N. America. Sorry, I don't see any.
Canada is clearly an island.

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