Sunday, July 14, 2013

Frying Eggs in Death Valley - Do's & Don't's

A fried egg, cooked somewhere else and carefully placed on the ground for effect
[photo: Pockafwye/Shutterstock]

It's "hot enough to fry an egg" and you want to try to fry an egg on the sidewalk just to see if you can? DON'T.

According to this article, the park rangers at Death Valley would like you to kindly stop trying to fry eggs on the sidewalks. Just...stop. Why do people yearn to visit parks or other restful, beautiful places and then leave their crap all over the ground? The park rangers have to clean it up because, this is unbelievable to me, a lot of the people who try this also leave their mess there for other people to step on and/or clean up. Including egg cartons and shells. What the hell, people?!

Park officials have felt the need to update their Facebook status with the message:  

“This is your national park, please put trash in the garbage or recycle bins provided and don’t crack eggs on the sidewalks…”

I would have thought that would be a no-brainer. Eggs are high in protein and as anyone who has tried to dispose of a body knows, things high in protein like eggs and blood, dry out really quickly so all you're really doing is dehydrating an egg, or blood as the case may be, on  a sidewalk in death valley. Big deal.


Also fried somewhere else and placed on the sidewalk for effect
[photo: Thinkstock]

You're in Death Valley and the temperature is up around 55-ishC (133F on the ground, see video below) and you want to try to fry an egg because YOLO? DO use a square of tin foil or a frying pan, and as the video shows below, DO use a lid to preserve moisture because: desert = dehydration

Here's a video showing you how not dramatic it is and why you're just making a huge mess if you try this by cracking an egg on a sidewalk.



Recap

Frying an egg in Death Valley:

Don't. Just...don't. Find a video. Watch it.

If you must fry:

Do use a frying pan
Do use a lid
Do clean up your damn mess after you're done.

If you don't, you're an ugly, idiot, nature-loving poseur. Always leave things in better condition than when you got them wherever you are. This is a no brainer, principle of living. I shouldn't even have to say this.

1 comment:

Melvin Ayatollahofrock'nrolla said...

All those frying eggs and no bacon? Assholes.